Marriage: Fail

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.
~E W Howe

Quarrels are the dowry which married folk bring one another.
~Ovid

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What a profound significance small things assume when the woman we love conceals them from us.
~Marcel Proust

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Marriage is not a word — it is a sentence. 
~Author Unknown

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? 
~Author Unknown

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Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. 
~Evelyn Hendrickson

Wedding rings: the world's smallest handcuffs. 
~Author Unknown

Oh! How many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring.
~Colley Cibber

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. 
~Author Unknown

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If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.
~Anton Chekhov

The surest way to be alone is to get married. 
~Gloria Steinem

Evidently, whatever else marriage might prevent, it was not a remedy for isolation of spirit.
~Ellen Glasgow

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The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. 
~Bertrand Russell

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. 
~Socrates

My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.
~Armistead Maupin

Desire creates havoc when it is the only thing between two people, or when it is what's missing.
~Mignon McLaughlin

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Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. 
~Author Unknown

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Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful. 
~Mignon McLaughlin

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Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. 
~Virginie des Rieux

Though women are angels, yet wedlock's the devil. 
~Lord Byron

Wedlock is a padlock.
~John Ray

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By the time you're his
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
~Dorothy Parker

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." 
~Herbert Spencer

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Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. 
~François de la Rochefoucault

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. 
~A P Herbert

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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. 
~Helen Rowland

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Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. 
~Helen Rowland

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Love-matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. 
~Countess of Blessington

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
~Stephen Leacock

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Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. 
~Samuel Pepys

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
~Oscar Wilde

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.
~Erica Jong

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Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn't even have when you were on your own.
~Eddie Cantor

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. 
~Author Unknown

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Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. 
~O C Ogilvie

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A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. 
~Zsa Zsa Gabor

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If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
~Katharine Hepburn

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. 
~Helen Rowland

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. 
~Isadora Duncan

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When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. 
~G B Shaw

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane. 
~Joseph Collins

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. 
~Mae West

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All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. 
~Raymond Hull

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Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.
~Abraham Lincoln

I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
~Abraham Lincoln

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