For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.
~E W Howe
Quarrels are the dowry which married folk bring one another.
What a profound significance small things assume when the woman we love conceals them from us.
Marriage is not a word — it is a sentence.
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
Wedding rings: the world's smallest handcuffs.
Oh! How many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring.
Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.
The surest way to be alone is to get married.
Evidently, whatever else marriage might prevent, it was not a remedy for isolation of spirit.
The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent.
My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.
Desire creates havoc when it is the only thing between two people, or when it is what's missing.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful.
Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
~Virginie des Rieux
Though women are angels, yet wedlock's the devil.
Wedlock is a padlock.
By the time you're his
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage."
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
~François de la Rochefoucault
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
~A P Herbert
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Love-matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar.
~Countess of Blessington
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.
Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn't even have when you were on your own.
Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family.
~O C Ogilvie
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
~G B Shaw
The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.
I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.